Vulnerability seems to be a key theme. Not only at Sand Hearts. I have written about vulnerability based on my experience and the journey I had to go through to embrace my vulnerable self. Additionally, I hear your feedback and your comments that vulnerability in different forms and shapes is a huge challenge for many of you. In personal and professional situations; which simply means in situations with human interactions.
The more I learned to embrace my vulnerability, the more I could connect the dots to other aspects and challenges of my life. I have written about vulnerability as the key to unleash your creativity, and how to embrace vulnerability to drive your personal growth.
However, there are other aspects of vulnerability that might be connected to your specific challenges in this life. A life challenge (in my opinion) is a challenge that will come up over and over again in different forms and shapes depending on your life’s journey and the current plateau you have achieved. Life challenges are, for instance, getting rid of being a control freak, or walking away from attachment and ownership thinking, or unleashing creativity to fulfill a life purpose and to make a difference. Whatever it is for you, it’s worth a few thoughts, processes and a dialog with yourself what your main life challenge is, and how it is connected to the vulnerable part of your soul. I bet, embracing your vulnerable soul can be a key trigger to better navigating your life challenges. Here is why.
What’s your life challenge?
The more I have found myself in vulnerable situations (personal, professional, etc.), I learned about the connection to one of my key challenges – getting rid of safety thinking. I have already shared how I was raised as a child. Another part of my parents’ philosophy was that everything had to be “secure” and “safe”. My father closed life insurance and retirement insurance contracts for me when I was a teenager! Yes, no joke! That’s what he did. His main focus was to push me into a journey of school, university, career and marriage for one simple reason: I should fit into the system, and I should have a “safe” life. I was put on a journey that I didn’t want to follow. But I didn’t know that at this time. I learned it the hard way. I learned that I was on the wrong path when my life crashed almost completely when I was about thirty. My partnership, my career, and the company I had with my partner – all these things crashed almost at the same time. It was a house of cards that had to crash. It was a process that couldn’t be stopped in the middle. Everything had to crash to open a space for a new beginning. I had to restart. Again. From zero. From today’s perspective, it was the best thing that could happen to me at this time. I worked myself back into my life, step by step. Now, it was about my life, not about anybody else’s life. I was happy just to be with myself; in a small apartment, continuing with a freelance consulting job, moving to another city. Not a “safe” thing. Finally, not a “safe” thing!
Life challenges, such as mine “getting rid of security thinking” can only be mastered with deeply knowing, understanding and embracing the vulnerable part of your soul.
That includes understanding how your vulnerability shows up in specific situations. Only then, you have a chance to navigate yourself through vulnerable situations and to grow with what has happened and what is happening. Embracing your vulnerability is not only the key to unleashing creative and innovative potential, it can also be the key to navigating better your specific life challenges. Therefore, it’s essential to understand what the root causes of your vulnerable soul are. In my case, the root cause of my vulnerable soul is that I never felt loved when I was a child. My parents have always taken great care of me, but only on a tangible, material level. Not on an emotional level. I missed the feeling to be loved unconditionally and to be accepted for who I was. And I missed happiness and joy. Our family life was a pretty busy, structured and literally “cool” atmosphere. From us children, it was expected to function and to fit into the system.
Today, I know pretty well that I had to go through a few iterations and crashes to understand the vulnerable part of my soul, and also to discover this cause. Understanding what love really is and to discover real love was for many years one of my key challenges and it became a focal point. Something in my life forced me to discover this, which is why I found myself in situations that disrupted everything I thought I would know about love. Luckily, all that happened, the weird situations, the disasters and also the most beautiful moments. I could discover love in my own heart, which was the first step to open a space to begin to develop love as a state of being. And that will be a lifelong journey, I guess… But we all need ambitions! To make a long story short, click here to read what I learned about love so far.
Understanding and discovering love as the cause of my very vulnerable soul, was a prerequisite to better master my life challenge, getting rid of “safety thinking”.
What I learned about love is everything else but stable or safe. Facing my life challenge, engaging in love, embracing the depth of it is one thing. This other thing is the danger of being hurt. Embracing both is all about getting rid of the “safety thinking” patter. It’s an approach to learning and growing. The same discovery helped me to leave “safe” jobs and embrace new but “unsafe” challenges. I did never regret a choice that was based on following my heart, and inner guidance.
Love (I don’t mean “managing” an institution such as a marriage) is just the opposite of safety thinking. It’s about how people who love each other (however they feel and define that for themselves), relate to each other, along their life journeys, what values and principles they bring to the table. It’s about supporting each other on their journeys. And love requires freedom. “Love and freedom are two wings of the same bird,” as Osho said. Loving each other means also to understand that different people have different levels of vulnerability and that their vulnerability may have different causes (and buttons…). Also, different people have different emotional capacities and needs. And sometimes this balance gets lost and has to be established again, on a higher, more conscious level. For the vulnerable soul, that isn’t always an easy thing to do. The vulnerable soul needs time to reflect and to process these things in order to move on. Establishing a new layer of playfulness and joy, in freedom, can help to navigate those challenges. Furthermore, people, even when in love with each other in whatever way, may seek for different things, often based on a different life purpose and different priorities. Knowing, understanding and balance are the keys to happiness and joy, based on freedom.
Love became the key energy for all that matters to me, my inner circle, my work, and my various projects and initiatives I’m working on. All that’s based on love, driven by my life purpose of being a gatekeeper to bridge between assumed different worlds, driven by my truth. Love is now my foundation.
Getting to the root causes requires courage, curiosity, willpower, honesty, time and passion for learning, unlearning and relearning. And that’s how we grow.
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