Who hasn’t read about letting things go? Letting go of everything that no longer serves you, or letting go of beliefs and values that are no longer yours, or letting go of negative people in your life, and the list goes on and on.
There is only one question I have for you. Did you, maybe, experience some challenges with this practice of letting things go? Because these things didn’t go away at the end of the day? Then, you probably repeated yourself and worked again on letting these things go. But maybe they didn’t go away?
Did you tell the things you wanted to let go where they should go instead?
Probably not. Because it’s not taught. In most of these “letting go” articles, books and workshops, this question is neither discussed nor asked.
Imagine you make a decision to resign from your current job. Then you may already know what you want to do instead. Maybe you have already a new job destination in mind, or you know at least what you are looking for in a new job.
You get the point. Whatever the situation is, you have not only to get clarity on your current state but also on your future state. “From what, into what” is the principle here.
Now, let’s switch from concrete examples like letting go of a job to letting go of less tangible things such as values, beliefs or behaviours. Those things are not tangible in a physical way, but they are existing. Of course. Because we experience them. Because we feel them.
And this intangible area is where most “letting things go” exercises are focused on: letting go of a bad behavior, letting go of a false belief that doesn’t serve you any longer, or letting go of treating a loved one the wrong way, or letting go of negative people who suck all your energy, or letting go of unworthiness, “not being enough,” or “being a victim.” Also here, the list goes on and on…
We know from physics that everything is energy.
And we know that “energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another,” as the famous physician Albert Einstein stated. And that explains why letting things go is only half the equation. You cannot just let go a certain energy. It’s physically not accurate. You also need to know in which energy you want to transform the one you want to let go.
Knowing what you want to let go is only the first step.
Knowing in which form you want to transform the energy you want to let go is the key to success.
Let me give you a few examples.
Transform the feeling of rejection into non-judgement, into a state of love
Let’s think about the feeling of being rejected. Something you want to get rid of. It’s not easy at all as long as you connect another person’s behaviour as a result of your behaviour which makes you feeling rejected by that person. However, it’s much more likely that another person behaves as he or she behaves because of them, not because of you. Their issues turn into certain behaviours that are projected on you. In this particular case, checking out the Four Agreements by Toltec Spirit will help a lot. The second agreement talks about not to take anything personally because “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”
Now having this insight in mind might help you to define the energy in which you want to transform the feeling of rejection. In this case of feeling rejected (I know this feeling very well…), turning the perceived rejection into a sense of non-judgement was my way. And transforming something into the absence of judgment is transforming something into a state of unconditional love. It has taken me years to get there; it only worked when I learned that knowing what to let go was only half the equation.
Transform speciesism into compassion
Another example. Let’s talk about the feeling of speciesism you may want to get rid of. It’s, for example, treating different animals differently which means that one species, your dog or cat, is loved, while another one gets abused, tortured and killed by the animal agriculture industry just because they have been defined, by humans, as “farm animals.” Another example could be to treat a particular group of people, such as immigrants or refugees, differently compared to the familiar groups of people you already know. Also here, the question is, into what you want to transform speciesism. Your choice, of course. But you have to find an answer. If not, there is no way to let go of this energy. Maybe you want to transform speciesism into compassion, or a state of non-judgment or a state of inner peace. That will work. Without any doubt.
Everything is energy. And energy cannot be destroyed; it can only be transformed. So, whatever you want to let go, define into what you want to transform it. And all of a sudden, your “letting things go” exercises have a much better chance to be successful.